Why You Should Be Kind To Yourself
At several times in your life, when you made mistakes, do you say to yourself "Boy was I stupid" or "I’m a loser and I think I’ll always be." Is this what’s going on in your mind? Is this your internal dialog when you made a major boo boo?
The key here is be kind to yourself. Recognize your strengths and weaknesses and accept your temporary failure. Human beings are not perfect. We will always be making mistakes. Now, if we reject ourselves when we are messing up, we are only being a "fair weather" friend to ourselves. How would you like to have a friend who is so good to you when you are rich and disappears when we are broke and in trouble? You wouldn’t want to have a friend like that would you? So that’s how you are to yourself when you acknowledge your strengths and triumphs, but you don’t accept your weaknesses and failures…..you are a fair weather friend to yourself.
We shouldn’t have to be our own worst critic. We have to consistently squelch self critical thoughts so we would not be crushing our brave and creative impulses. Yes, be kind to yourself. Most importantly forgive yourself. Make peace with failures, forget about them and continue the process of living with an aim of self improvement. If anyone should be your friend, it should be you. If you don’t like yourself, who will?
If Michael Jordan had condemned himself when he missed those 9,000 shots in his basketball career, he wouldn’t be considered today, the greatest basketball player of all time.
Reframe failure
Think of failures as mere guideposts to tell us not to go and travel the same path again that lead us nowhere. Failures move us forward in the direction of the achievement of our goals. To rise above failures is a far greater victory, thus bring us more satisfaction and self respect.
For example you are an aspiring stage actress, forgive yourself if at first you will flub your lines and miss your cues, or if you struck out when you most want to be a major league baseball player. Think of a toddler who’s learning how to walk. He stumbles and falls on his face, yet gets up and tries again. Babies don’t just jump up from the crib and waltz and glide across the room.
So praise yourself for every effort you make regardless of the results, instead of harping on your weaknesses. You must focus on your strengths. You deserve credit for everything that you attempt to do. Praise yourself for efforts that don’t work out, as well as those that do.
Remember that even if you do fail some good can come from it. When failure becomes a painful experience, you will mature. You will have more sensitivity and sympathy. You have more depth. Become more appreciative.
If you can love and respect yourself in failure, worlds of adventure and new experiences will open up before you. You fears will vanish. Your self image unshakeable, You have stronger foundation. You won’t let transitory misfortunes defeat you. You will be happy.
Take risks if you must, if you fail, stop wasting your time consistently berating yourself.
Smile and laugh at your blunders, errors, past mistakes and faux pas whether major or minor. Don’t take life seriously. Watch out for the saboteur (" I want to but I can’t" mentality) inside of you. We only have to accept the fact, that our visas are gong to be stamped one day….. that we are not getting out of this beautiful world alive. So we have to learn and savor every hour. Truly experience every sweet moments of life. Appreciate the fascinating journey we are taking. Winning or failing, you win by just being here on this wondrous planet.
The key here is be kind to yourself. Recognize your strengths and weaknesses and accept your temporary failure. Human beings are not perfect. We will always be making mistakes. Now, if we reject ourselves when we are messing up, we are only being a "fair weather" friend to ourselves. How would you like to have a friend who is so good to you when you are rich and disappears when we are broke and in trouble? You wouldn’t want to have a friend like that would you? So that’s how you are to yourself when you acknowledge your strengths and triumphs, but you don’t accept your weaknesses and failures…..you are a fair weather friend to yourself.
We shouldn’t have to be our own worst critic. We have to consistently squelch self critical thoughts so we would not be crushing our brave and creative impulses. Yes, be kind to yourself. Most importantly forgive yourself. Make peace with failures, forget about them and continue the process of living with an aim of self improvement. If anyone should be your friend, it should be you. If you don’t like yourself, who will?
If Michael Jordan had condemned himself when he missed those 9,000 shots in his basketball career, he wouldn’t be considered today, the greatest basketball player of all time.
Reframe failure
Think of failures as mere guideposts to tell us not to go and travel the same path again that lead us nowhere. Failures move us forward in the direction of the achievement of our goals. To rise above failures is a far greater victory, thus bring us more satisfaction and self respect.
For example you are an aspiring stage actress, forgive yourself if at first you will flub your lines and miss your cues, or if you struck out when you most want to be a major league baseball player. Think of a toddler who’s learning how to walk. He stumbles and falls on his face, yet gets up and tries again. Babies don’t just jump up from the crib and waltz and glide across the room.
So praise yourself for every effort you make regardless of the results, instead of harping on your weaknesses. You must focus on your strengths. You deserve credit for everything that you attempt to do. Praise yourself for efforts that don’t work out, as well as those that do.
Remember that even if you do fail some good can come from it. When failure becomes a painful experience, you will mature. You will have more sensitivity and sympathy. You have more depth. Become more appreciative.
If you can love and respect yourself in failure, worlds of adventure and new experiences will open up before you. You fears will vanish. Your self image unshakeable, You have stronger foundation. You won’t let transitory misfortunes defeat you. You will be happy.
Take risks if you must, if you fail, stop wasting your time consistently berating yourself.
Smile and laugh at your blunders, errors, past mistakes and faux pas whether major or minor. Don’t take life seriously. Watch out for the saboteur (" I want to but I can’t" mentality) inside of you. We only have to accept the fact, that our visas are gong to be stamped one day….. that we are not getting out of this beautiful world alive. So we have to learn and savor every hour. Truly experience every sweet moments of life. Appreciate the fascinating journey we are taking. Winning or failing, you win by just being here on this wondrous planet.
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