How To Know If He Is The One
This is a checklist if you want to know the guy you have the hots for is worth keeping. It doesn’t matter if someone you’re dating is a deadringer for Tom Cruise or Enrique Iglesias as long as he has integrity, flexible, giving and treats you with compassion.
You don’t have to know the person since kindergarten days, these subtle hints speak volumes about that person. He has:
-A German shepherd. A goldfish or a niece he is fond of. Even owning a plant is a good sign. This shows the person is not commitment phobic. He has the affinity for nurturing and be constant to something in life.
-Sense of humour. Being able to laugh together helps diffuse tension. Life is serious enough as it is. It doesn’t matter if he has a PHD in nuclear engineering , if you can’t laugh together your relationship is going to fizzle. Just make sure you have the same kind of sense of humor. If he laughs at the Three Stooges and you just look and stare or he doesn’t get why you find Jerry Seinfeld funny, well you better think twice.
-A good relationship history. If you can bring up the subject tactfully without asking for details, you can ask “what’s the longest relationship you’ve ever had?” If the guy answers “20 ex gfs lasting only after the usual three drinks, then you better look for the nearest exit. A person’s commitment history is a huge part of his emotional make up.
-Curiousity about you. Whatever you told him one day, he remembers it the next. Like the names of your chums, the organizations you belong to, even minute details like how you love zucchini. Most people don’t even remember you told them you had gallbladder removed. Listening is a good asset.
-Has integrity. On sure fire way to test this is to check if his actions match his words. If he says one thing, and do another then it’s one big red flag. Like if he says “Baby you are my number one priority” but if he is always habitually three hours late on your dates, then steer clear from the kind who blows smokescreen on your face you can’t even see the trees through the forest. Another way is to watch how he treats his friends, his mom, even waiters. Listen to what his neighbors, co-workers and pals say about him. Great physical intimacy and world class conversation can’t make up for basic integrity and trust.
-Passion about something. This is across the board. When a person exhibits a zest for life, it is attractive, very irresistible . If the one you’re dating works a regular nine to five hour job, but still manages to practice his lines at the community theater after office hours or he religiously smash his way at the local tennis court to become a nationally ranked tournament player then I’d say he’s a catch. When you are in presence with someone who is perpetually enthused and impassioned about something or a cause, you feel a connection with our own sense of excitement, power, energy and thrill that makes us feel life is worth living many times over.
-The hots for you. All the other attributes listed above won’t matter one bit if, there’s no spark. If the chemistry’s missing you will never make a connection. There has to be something in him like the way he smiles, wrinkles his nose, when he laughs, moves, looks and smells….that would make you want to fantasize about getting together intimately. Same goes for him, how he feels attracted to you.
To ditch or not to ditch our little black books , to delete or not to delete entries in our blackberrys all depends if we find potential dates worth our time and effort.
You don’t have to know the person since kindergarten days, these subtle hints speak volumes about that person. He has:
-A German shepherd. A goldfish or a niece he is fond of. Even owning a plant is a good sign. This shows the person is not commitment phobic. He has the affinity for nurturing and be constant to something in life.
-Sense of humour. Being able to laugh together helps diffuse tension. Life is serious enough as it is. It doesn’t matter if he has a PHD in nuclear engineering , if you can’t laugh together your relationship is going to fizzle. Just make sure you have the same kind of sense of humor. If he laughs at the Three Stooges and you just look and stare or he doesn’t get why you find Jerry Seinfeld funny, well you better think twice.
-A good relationship history. If you can bring up the subject tactfully without asking for details, you can ask “what’s the longest relationship you’ve ever had?” If the guy answers “20 ex gfs lasting only after the usual three drinks, then you better look for the nearest exit. A person’s commitment history is a huge part of his emotional make up.
-Curiousity about you. Whatever you told him one day, he remembers it the next. Like the names of your chums, the organizations you belong to, even minute details like how you love zucchini. Most people don’t even remember you told them you had gallbladder removed. Listening is a good asset.
-Has integrity. On sure fire way to test this is to check if his actions match his words. If he says one thing, and do another then it’s one big red flag. Like if he says “Baby you are my number one priority” but if he is always habitually three hours late on your dates, then steer clear from the kind who blows smokescreen on your face you can’t even see the trees through the forest. Another way is to watch how he treats his friends, his mom, even waiters. Listen to what his neighbors, co-workers and pals say about him. Great physical intimacy and world class conversation can’t make up for basic integrity and trust.
-Passion about something. This is across the board. When a person exhibits a zest for life, it is attractive, very irresistible . If the one you’re dating works a regular nine to five hour job, but still manages to practice his lines at the community theater after office hours or he religiously smash his way at the local tennis court to become a nationally ranked tournament player then I’d say he’s a catch. When you are in presence with someone who is perpetually enthused and impassioned about something or a cause, you feel a connection with our own sense of excitement, power, energy and thrill that makes us feel life is worth living many times over.
-The hots for you. All the other attributes listed above won’t matter one bit if, there’s no spark. If the chemistry’s missing you will never make a connection. There has to be something in him like the way he smiles, wrinkles his nose, when he laughs, moves, looks and smells….that would make you want to fantasize about getting together intimately. Same goes for him, how he feels attracted to you.
To ditch or not to ditch our little black books , to delete or not to delete entries in our blackberrys all depends if we find potential dates worth our time and effort.
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